Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
