There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
