he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
