why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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