i just made my gag reflex go away.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
