yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
