you would pick up someone in the library
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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