we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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