Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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