the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
