no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You ruined the universe
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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