I just made out with a guy for $7.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
