My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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