I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
