We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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