At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
