does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
