Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
