You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
