i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize