doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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