I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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