I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
