Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
