spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
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