The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
