I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
