I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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