So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just cut my nipple shaving
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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