i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
