FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
A bitchslap is in order.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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