Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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