I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
