Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm at about main and main street
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
