You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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