Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
