Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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