a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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