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so explain again why im purple
no
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
