I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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