You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
