dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
