it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
