Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
