She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
