so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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