She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
only you would photoshop your dick
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
