She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
