shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize