Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
