He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize