Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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