we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
