You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
