this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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