Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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