woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
