Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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