now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
