I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
